'My miracle is finally here'

I am writing this post from hospital.

I just left my room for the first time in more than 30 hours. I walked down the corridor and into a large sun-filled reception area buzzing with visitors arriving to see patients and their newborns, and young couples nervously leaving hospital for the first time with their precious bundles.Then I cried. The tears that had been building for so long just poured out and there was no point in stopping them.

On Tuesday, October 21 at 7.32am, our son, Cheap Canvas Online Sullivan, all 7 pounds 2 ounces (3.23kg) of him, entered our world.

Without regaling the labour in full (maybe another time, and maybe not 'in full'), canvas prints online he rushed his way here in a speedy four-hour delivery.

I wrote those above lines on Wednesday in an emotional overload that quickly got side-tracked by ... well, I have no idea. It's now Thursday afternoon and our little family are home together.

It's a pretty good representation of how these first few days have gone, really.

The hours have been slipping by in a haze of boobs,  poos and well-wishers.

Tasks have been started and left half-done, meals have been provided, nibbled at and left to go cold, and ideas and questions have filled my head, only to leave as quickly as they came.

I've become one of those annoying people who reads text messages and then forget to reply, or forget what I said in a reply,  or forget even where my phone is (and it's normally attached permanently to me).

I don't even really know what day of the week it is, or what's been happening in the outside world. How has the world continued on its pace when mine has been altered so drastically?

Becoming a mother has been exactly what I thought and hoped for, while similarly being the most unpredictable and scary experience that I didn't expect.

Every minute there's something new and everything looks different in the world to me now.

My house feels more like a home, my husband even more of my provider and protector, and my heart even bigger than everyone tries to describe it to you when you're expecting.

I get it now. I'm not sure I'll ever get the words together to try and explain it to others, but my hope is I never have to and that all those who wish for this, experience it for themselves.

But know this: every failed pregnancy test is forgiven, every dollar spent at the specialists forgotten, every tear of wondering if it would ever be my turn has dried.

My miracle is here.